After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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