I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
