and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
