walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
