Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
