Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
