if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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