nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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