ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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