Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
