My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
