Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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