I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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