Already got asked if we're dating
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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