i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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