Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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