you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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