saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
