I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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