We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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