Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
