Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
