soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Enjoy the penises
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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