im about as happy as oj after his trial
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
