Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
