16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
