I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
