please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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