I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
