please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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