omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
