Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
