john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
