I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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