I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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