i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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