I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
