dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
