I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
