My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
