She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
