He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When did angry sex become our thing?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
