This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
