i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
