btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
