part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
