You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
