We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
