wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
