i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
