She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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